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              托福写作审题时需要避免的错误

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              zhaocongcong

              2019年02月20日

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                托福独立写作审题误区一 没注意关键词

                同学们考写作考了这么多年,大多数出题的形式都已烂熟于心,看到题目之后觉得熟悉于是兴冲冲提?#31034;托矗?#20854;实,这种看似“熟练”的表象下藏着巨大的隐患——同学们很有可能因为看得太快而忽?#38405;?#20010;决定题目意思的关键词。例如:

                例1:

                Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Advertising is the only main cause for people’s unhealthy eating habits.

                看到这个题目,同学们立刻会开始想,有没有other reasons for unhealthy habits,想出三条

                如:1. People’s tight schedules do not allow them to eat at regular hours;

                2. Sometimes people are eager to lose weight or to keep fit so that they go on “endless diets”;

                3. Bearing heavy burden both physically and mentally, some consider eating constantly as their most effective stress reliever.

                综上所述,advertising is not the only cause.

                这个写法看起来非常完?#31119;?#20294;其实犯了一个不起眼却严重的错误——题目不是要我们证明it is not the only cause,而是要我们去证明it is not the only main cause。多一个“main”,意思是很不一样的。如果我们只需要证明it is not the only cause,那么找出other causes即可即例1中的写法。但是,如果我们要证明it is not the only main cause,?#25176;?#35201;证明other causes that we mentioned are also main causes,这?#25176;?#35201;在每一段中加上一些专门的?#24471;鰲?#25110;者,更简单的办法是去证明advertising is not even a cause, 直接在每段的末尾加上advertising与该段所论述的unhealthy eating habit无关的论述即可。If it is not a cause, how can it be the only main cause? 这样一来,就不用通过证明还有其他main cause来反驳了,事实上,证明某种cause是main cause还是挺?#24515;讯?#30340;,因此笔者推荐同学们用后一种方式进?#26032;?#36848;。因此,文章还是disagree,而三段的主题句分别应该是:

                1.People’s tight schedules do not allowthem to eat at regular hours, and it is obvious that they are too busy to be influenced by advertising;

                2. Sometimes people are eager to lose weight or to keep fit so that they go on “endless diets”, and this is more like a result of human nature, the pursuit of beauty, but not advertising;

                3. Bearing heavy burden both physically and mentally, some consider eating constantly as their most effective stress reliever, and it is quite clear that no advertisingencourages them to do so.

                例2:Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Colleges and universities should offer more preparation for student before they start working.

                看到这个题目,很多同学会可能会这样写:Agree. 1. Students should take more specialized courses (专业课)in order to be knowledgeable and skillful enough for their future careers(?#24188;?#24320;始论述being knowledgeable and skillful的重要性); 2. Participating in internships helps students to have a clearer picture of their vocational development in the future(?#24188;?#24320;始论述如果没有实过习,在工作的时候是多么地feel so unprepared); 3. Attending more club activities is an effective way to improve social skills, which are crucial for success both in life and at work(?#24188;?#24320;始论述good social skills对职业和生活的帮助).

                如果不看括号里的内容,仅看主题句,这篇文章是没有任何问题的。然而,括号中的论述?#21451;?#26684;意义上来讲,是不能支持“more”这个关键词的。举个简单的例子:“我们需要钱”和“我们需要更多钱”在证明的时候重点是不一样的。如果证明“我们需要钱”,应该详细阐述钱的“不可或缺性”,比如生活、学习、教育都需要钱;但是如果证明“我们需要更多钱”,重点则应该放在“钱不够”的论述上,证明在学习、生活、教育方面的预算都很紧张。同样地,上面的题目中仅仅证明Knowledge for careers, field experience and social skills are important是不够的,事实上,这些根本不需要证明,需要证明的事情是graduates today are not well prepared in the three aspects. 因此这篇文章应该是一篇“抱怨型”的文章,详细地去论述学校工作的不足。参考思路如下:Agree. 1. Many students today complain that they cannot learn practical skills and up-to-date information, for some of their teachers are not qualified enough to teach specialized courses; 2. Since many students are not allowed enough time to participate in internship programs before graduation, they know very little about what their future jobs like; 3. Joining clubs is possible for every college student, yet not every club provide is capable of offering enough opportunities for students to practice their social skills.

                同学们在写文章的时候一定要注意,学术论文写作不是句型和辞藻的堆砌,整篇文章一定是一个well-organized system,这个system中很重要的原则之二就是——1、每个中间段的topic sentence是?#32654;?#25903;持main idea的;2、topic sentence后面的每句话都是?#32654;?#25903;?#25351;胻opic sentence的。在上面的两个例子中,大?#19968;?#21457;现例1的错误主要是main idea没有很好地被topic sentence支持;而例2的错误在于topic sentence虽然看起?#35789;?#25903;持main idea的,但是论述的内容可能跟关键词“more”无关,从而不能有力地支持topic sentences。这些错误的起因,则是对题干中关键词的忽略。

                托福独立写作审题误区二 关键词理解不准确

                与忽略关键词的人不同,?#34892;?#21516;学过于执着于关键词的字面意思,而没能看出其背后的implication,从而被关键词限制住思路,无法下笔。比起忽略关键词,这种错误更常发生在细心且实力不错的同学身上,也很值?#20040;?#23478;注意。笔者建议,在写文章的时候要灵活,不要?#24515;?#20110;关键词的字面意思,否则理由很不好想,?#36864;?#24819;出来也很难用英文表达。例如:

                例3:

                Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The government should spend more money on elementary school education than on university education.

                题目的意思是说,比起投资大学教育,政府应该在小学教育上投入更多的?#24335;稹?#30475;到这个题,同学们会有不同的看法,大体来讲无非是两种——认为university education应?#27809;?#26356;多的钱或反之。但是,大家很快会发?#31181;?#26126;任何一种观点都是不容易的。比如说,?#34892;?#21516;学可能会这样写:Agree. 1. Elementary school education involves more students than university education and it requires more money; 2. Colleges and universities have more sponsors than elementary schools so that the government should offer more financial support for the latter.3. Since elementary school education is the cornerstone of university education, it deserves more money from the government.

                上面的主题句看起?#35789;?#27809;?#24418;?#39064;的,然而在展开的时候困难重重——个点里说Pupils的数量多所以花钱多,这的确是事实,可是pupil人均所需要的经费却肯定比university students少,最关键的是,我们并没有数据作为支撑;第二点里说校友或社会人士的支持使?#20040;?#23398;在财政方便面比小学要宽裕的多,然而,这还是一个没有数据就无法证明的观点;第三点里说elementary school education是university education的基础所以前者就应当比后者得到更多的预算,这是一个典型的逻辑错误,因此在段落展开的时候将会十分困?#36873;是B的基础并不意味着要为A花更多的钱。总之,钱本身就是一个可以量化的东西,如果真的以钱的多少来写这道题,在没有数据支持的情况下是很难成文的。许多同学之所以在写的时候觉得自己的文章很牵强,就是因为把该文?#32972;?#20102;论述题,而大家要知道,论述题都是要会给出数据让我们来分析的。那么,在没有数据的情况下,这种题目该怎么写呢?找到money后面的implication很重要。其实,题目并不是要我们去讨论哪种教育应?#27809;?#26356;多的钱,而是让我们去对比两种教育的重要性,自然地,更加重要的教育就应?#27809;?#26356;多的钱。所以我们可以有以下论述:

                (Main idea) I cannot agree that the government should spend more money on elementary school education than on university education, because they are equally important.

                (Topic sentence) 1. Elementary school education prepares children for college education by teaching them how to learn and what they are supposed to learn.


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